Storyboard Outline

As I decided to go with my Oz idea for my storyboards, I have to come up with 15 storyboards for a 15 second commercial to pitch my game. I do not have to create this game, just pitch this idea that I have. this week I have to give an outline as to what my commercial might look like. I have until Sunday night to post my outline, so this is my first draft, and would like some input as to what people think:

Board 1) A sunrise over a cornfield with a scarecrow on a post taking center screen.
Board 2) Black screen, gold letters "Somewhere ..."
Board 3) A busy Munchkin village
Board 4) Black screen, gold lettering "Over the Rainbow ..."
Board 5) A nice sunny day viewing from afar over a field, Emerald City
Board 6) Black screen, red lettering, "A War Rages!"
Board 7) A grey sky and the view of Emerald City shows smoke rising up from it, and battle damage to the city
itself
Board 8) The same view of the Munchkin village, the buildings in ruble and bodies in the street.
Board 9) The cornfield is now burned to the ground, the post is but a burned down stub, and there is no sign of the
scarecrow.
Board 10) Faction shot of the Good Faction of Oz, with characters such as a Lionman, Clockworkman, Scarecrow, and
Munchkin standing grouped together in from of some damaged buildings in downtown Emerald City
Board 11) Faction shot of the Evil faction of Oz, with characters such as a Wicked Witch, a Winged Monkey, a
Winkie, or a female assassin.
Board 12) Faction shot of the Corporate Army, with characters such as the Shocktrooper, Commando, Medic, and
Infantryman.
Board 13) A split screen showing four different battles between the different factions.
Board 14) A war room with a general leaning forward against a banister, looking at the central command screen, that
has the Wicked witch's face with her pointing at the camera, and a horde of winged monkeys flying in the
background.
Board 15) Black screen, red lettering, "Theater of War: Oz"

Thoughts?